If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away

(Yes I know that’s the name of a country song.) (http://youtu.be/55GAUgjpDQA if you wanna watch it)

I turned 19 a couple of weeks ago. Every year daddy and I would go out to eat Chinese food (my secret addiction). It was really hard to not have him call me and tell me he loves me. I went out to eat with my friends to carry on the tradition. It was really hard to celebrate a birthday without him there with me. My dad is still my hero and he always will be. He was such a huge part of my world and he always will be. It hit me last night that he really is gone… and that he wont physically be there for anymore birthdays, or my graduation from college, or to walk me down the isle at my wedding or to see the birth of his grandchildren… It’s easier some days and other days it’s heart breaking. Monday I went to call him and apologize for not calling him Sunday like I said I would, I dialed about 4 numbers then hung up and went “Oh…. that’s right…” I miss him so much. There was so much I wanted to tell him… so many times I wish I would’ve been a better daughter…  I told him repeatedly that he was my hero, and I told him everyday that I loved him. It hurts so much knowing that I’ll never hear him say “I love you baby/snodgrass/honey.” That I’ll never feel his arms around me again… Daddy I miss you… I wish you wouldn’t have left…

Blessed Be
)O(
~Fyre

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